Marmota monax
Overall appearance:
It has the body type of a pear mixed with a 40 year old man.
Its arms are stubby and its face cannot decide which rodent it wants to be.
I feel like this is the only picture where it does not look like a overweight rat beast.
It is basically a useless otter.
However, some of them have cool tails so thats + 2.
12/25
'Strength:
They are stronger than the average rodent, but that is not saying much.
They are very good at digging holes.
Even though they look like hairy circles groundhogs can actually climb trees to look for more food.
Its very short arms are more powerful than they appear.
20/25 (for a rodent)
Survival:
The average lifespan for a groundhog is only 2-3 years in the wild.(Not good)
I do not grade animals on their lifespan in captivity.(Which is like 9-14 years)
They are amazing at burrowing which can be a lifesaving tactic.
They hibernate which allows them to live through winters easily.
Weak against cats according to Antonio.
Antonio actually has said that there is currently a groundhog vs cat war in his back yard.
13/25
Likability:
I am usually not fond of rodents.
I will admit some are cute but most look like fat rats with little ears.
I would not want one as a pet nor would I want to pet it.
A groundhog once ruined my yard during the summer and ruined my mom's flowers from Lowes.
I have no love for groundhogs.
I actually cry when it is groundhogs day.
2/25
Overall appearance:12
Strength: 20
Survival:13
Likability: 2
Total: 47/100
An F. Not even an F+. It deserves nothing better. Just look at it. Disgusting.
Groundhogs need to step up their damn game. Who cares whether or not you see your shadow? GET GOOD KID.
ReplyDeleteI believe that this post is false and completely untrue. I demand a recount. I have a family of the little cutie pies in my backyard and i want them to have fair representation in this matter. I will throw tomatoes at you if you don't correct this immediately.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure that there is not a bias here against the poor ground hogs?
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a great idea for a blog. The site is set up nice. It kind of reminds me of like pokemon cards because your mentioning the "strength" and "life span," that kind of stuff. Overall, I think this is pretty cool and funny. I also do not like groundhogs for all the reasons that you stated.
ReplyDeleteCan you do alpaca, anaconda, basilisk, chinchilla, emu, and/or a puffin? Just some possible suggestions...