The Porpoise

Today I will be reviewing the porpoise

Phocoenidae

 

Overall Appearance:

I love it.

Its the goddamn Mary Kate and Ashley of the sea.

Adorable as shit.

Has human teeth so a little weird. (Little weird = -1)

So damn cute for a huge grey sea cow.

24/25

Strength:

Can carry these roses to me when i am sad. +10

Its plaseantly plump but shakes it like shes <100 lbs.

Could protect me from thugs on a rainy night.

does not have fists (-2 = no fists)

Survival:

Are becoming somewhat endangered.

I guess you can say its PORPOISE in life is to mate!

HHSHAHAHAHAHSHAHHSHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH MY FUCKING GOD IM HILARIOUSHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

-------> (You right now reading the blog)

IT GETS A goddamn 100/100!!!!! 

The Monkfish

This week I will be reviewing the Monkfish:

Lophius

Overall appearance:
GAHHH What the fuck is that? 
Disgusting. 
Its goddamn disgusting and terrifying.
I cannot give it any points.
I dont like lookin at it.
0/25

Strength:
Its also a dumb fish.
Probably can't lift a dumbbell.
I cannot see this thing bench more than 50.
Has the teeth of a baby that tried to eat a belt sander.
Fish can't do anything.
0/25

Survival:
No predator wants to eat that.
But no fish are gonna get close to it either.
I dont know how they mate.
Imagine those two fish going at it.
Thats gross.
0/25

Overall Likability:
No i dont like it.
I really don't like it.
I hate it.
It looks like that thing when ellen degenerous was like a fish and she poked it.
Then ellen degenerous and orangefish had to run away from it cuz it was really scary.
Then blue ellen degenerous and martin found that little kid.
0/25

0/100..... Im dead serious with this grade. I look at it and get a headache/sore throat.


The secret to grading animals (The Secret)